ONE YEAR LATER, ONE YEAR WISER

A year ago same time, I was a nervous wreck. 

Fresh college graduate, all I had with me were hopes to be the best, dreams of success and a completely different life ahead.

I wasn’t ready for change, but I was prepared to adapt to it.

And adapt I did.

Tomorrow I complete a year at my first job. And what a year it was; a year that made me strong, determined and ambitious.

Back as a student, I was carefree. Unaware of what is in store for me in the future, I was living life every moment like there is no going back. I had friends, a great social life and a definite nonchalant attitude to academics. Independence, self-sustainability, maturity and decision making were few heavy words that were thrown at me to scare me and to make start gearing up for the “Big Bad World”

I had dreams but of a different kind. Dream of starting my own blog, dream of opening up a nail art parlour, dream of travelling with friends around the world and what not.

I never worried about anyone else except me. For me, I was the most important being on this planet.

And now here I am, one year old as a corporate professional earning decent enough to survive. I still have friends, a normal social life and now a definite future planned in my head. Independent, matured (slightly) and better at making “life-changing” decisions, I am still learning how to stay alive in this world.

I am learning every day, every minute, every second.

This year taught me more lessons than any lectures of college.

I learnt failure, tasted success, made new friends, lost few more, cried, repented, laughed and lived.

If there is anything that this one year taught me, it is that life is unpredictable; challenges are bound to be thrown right at your face. There will be a time when you will doubt yourself, when you will be forced to face your worse fears as well. But that is exactly what makes living worth it.

Someone last year, just before my joining, told me, that I am a fearless confidence woman; that I can achieve anything if I have the heart to do it.

And I guess I am on my way to doing something, achieving what I want to and excelling in what I do.

So this year is not just to discovering a better me, it is also to the friends and the bonds I made in a year. To the friendships that lasted beyond college life and also in memory to the friends who distanced themselves over course of time. Coz as Stephen Chbosky said, “Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.”

And now the following paragraph is dedicated to my super crazy 'Mandali'. We started together on a journey, as we stepped into the office and were termed as the campus hires. We broke the ice and behaved really nice until we got extremely comfortable with each other and in no time completed a year.

So this year is to all that madness, the silly pranks, the wonderful one month training where I made few everlasting friends (hopefully), to petty fights, to silly teasing, to random spontaneous plans, to well executed plans and to plans that never went past the planning phase (winks), to hopes and dreams alike, to Secret Sankrant, to birthday cakes, to gossip, to ‘very’ frequent coffee breaks, to the ‘family ties’ (twisted but Sanskaari) to being called kiddish, to acting kiddish, to growing up.

And finally to no more being a FRESHER…!

The Teacher

Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever?

I wish I had that chance. It is only when you lose someone, that is, when you realize how much that person meant to you. I am left with no words to say and hundreds of feelings to express but none can be said without hoping that I wish I had just one more chance to hear the voice, to just hear the words and have few more thoughts to exchange with him before he left us with this gaping hole of absence.

I call him the Teacher though he was more than that for me, for everyone.

He was a mentor and my tutor for as long as I can remember. His values, his principles, his thought process was so noble and straight-forward that he taught me more than any teacher of my school.

A man of simplicity and humility, he had no air or any pride. He was soft-spoken and everyone respected him. He was honest, a man of values and full of love and affection for his family. He adored his grandchildren and always beamed with pride when he mentioned both the sons and daughter-in-laws. For him, his family was above all.

I have all my best and most cherished memories revolving around him. For me the image in my mind is not of the frail, delicate man but of the one who would take me for long walks to the park; who used to be full of joy if I would ever win any prize in the office or stood first in the class; who would spoil me with chocolates and random ice-cream treats; who now and then shared with me words of wisdom.

I owe almost all my knowledge to him. He always sensed the potential in me and made me stretch to that point so I could excel in academics. He always encouraged me in whatever I would want to pursue be it studies, hobbies or career related. He gave me his full support in every decision that I ever made.

The thought of not having him around will be a bit difficult to get used to. Time heals grief they say, I wonder if this can ever be healed.

I will miss his luminous presence in our family. His timely calls every night just to hear my voice. The long awaited trips to home so I could atleast meet him.

I know it is hard, but part of me is happy that he was relieved of all the sufferings.

I am supposed to be good at expressing what I feel through my writings. But this is tough and somehow almost feels like ripping your heart out.

This was not supposed to be a tribute or a eulogy. This was intended to be part of the 12 people who impacted my life. I regret that I never wrote this any time soon for him to read.

I read somewhere that the world is not a wish-granting factory but if there is one wish that can be fulfilled then I wish to hear his voice one last time. For him to tell me that he is all good and then wish me “Goodnight Rani bitiya” one last time.

But now this will end up being just a wish.

May you always rest in peace.

Love you Baba.

"The 12"-#11

Hello,

I know I am posting this out of the blue without completing the previous post. But I am sure people will understand why.

This is for the man with silver in his hair and gold in his heart...

THE YEAR OF FRIENDSHIPS- LOST AND FOUND

It has been 10 days since we all stepped into this new year (11^th being the day I am writing about this). And for me, ever since I was a kid, new year meant looking back at how the previous year, accept it with grace (okay with happiness, grace is too formal a word) and move on.

We always dedicate the year to something, like UN declared 2013 as Year of Water Conservation. I on the other hand have a more personal take upon naming or dedicating year to something or someone. Like for me the year 2007 was the PotterYear given the last book released in that year, or perhaps this year could be the Year we are Re-SHERLocked because of the season 3 which came, which we saw, which conquered our hearts yet again and will again vanish.

But the last year, 2013, is the year I dedicate to friendships.

Last year was a new beginning in a lot of ways.

It was the year I honestly stepped into the big bad world. With freedom in mind and, like every young person, strong will to “change the face of the world in some way”; I paved my way to the corporate life. And it has been a pretty different unexpected journey so far but if we start getting everything we wish, where will the fun be?

I met new people, interacted with them, befriended few, judged few. That’s typical me. But the friends I made are special in their own quirky fashion.

The bond I have varies with all but stays strong and there are times when I get annoyed by the sheer juvenility of all of us, I enjoy their company and nowadays I have even come to miss them when I don’t see much of them. We eat together, laugh together, crack the lamest jokes, play the silliest pranks and yet when we are busy we are truly busy. That’s just the best summarized version I could give of my batch.

But these aren’t my only friends in office. There are yet few people who I call my own and I get very defensive if someone says anything misappropriate about them.

I would rather term these all as a band of crazy, idiosyncratic but brilliant people. I call them my S.W.A.T- Slightly Weird but Adorable Team.

If office friends are one thing, then I also have a maniac group of virtual friends. Brought together by common love of tv shows and books, we are one crazy (word is open to suggestion) babbling band of buffoons if I quote Capt. Haddock. They are a delightful bunch of people slightly younger than me but oh how much more they talk than me. It is no surprise I have become a good listener too now, kudos to them.

But if I made new friends, I perhaps maybe lost a few of them too.

To be honest, we are all so busy fending for ourselves that in all this process we somehow forget that human interaction is the best way to keep you sane and happy-minded, “Happiness is only real when shared”.

So yes, I did get perhaps tad bit selfish last year and maybe moved away or got left behind, but nonetheless I still cherish every bit of the moment I ever shared with everyone in my life, past or present.

This year was not only about new and broken, it was also about reviving some forgotten bonds. I think I reconnected with a lot many pals of mine this time, sometimes my efforts, mostly theirs. I admit I have become habitual of distancing myself from all after a point but that’s only so that it’s easier to let go when required.

I could keep rambling away about importance of friendships and the broken ties and all but I guess we all know about them already. We all have those set of friends we can die for and fight for.

I thought I did too. I might still do. I hope I do.

I read this quote online (reading quotes is becoming a tasteful hobby recently) and it fits so beautifully with what I have been trying to write for so long.

It says-

“The thing is, that when you're young, you always think you'll meet all sorts of wonderful people, that drifting apart and losing friends is natural. You don't worry, at first, about the friends you leave behind. But as you get older, it gets harder to build friendships. Too many defenses, too little opportunity. You get busy. And by the time you realize that you've lost the dearest best friend you've ever had, years have gone by and you're mature enough to be embarrassed by your attitude and, frankly, by your arrogance.”

I hope I don’t become this person. And so as I hold my half-full glass of water (trying to be a optimist lately), I raise a toast to this ‘Shiny’ New Year and to all the ties in my life- old, new, broken and revived.

May the odds be in my favor this year.

Interlude

Happy New Year!

Before I dutifully complete the blog post on 10th person, I felt a need to write something about the year that has passed.

We all love new years. They are signs of having a fresh start, a new outlook to life, newer resolutions.

For me it is all about newer Me this year.

I admit my past year has been the most dramatic year and yet the best one. I intend to keep the charm of the year intact and just be more happy this year.

Happy Reading! :)

Felix Felicis- Part 1

We humans; may consider ourselves however smart or rational in thoughts, are still somewhere deep inside a bit superstitious. We all or atleast a bunch of us believe in hardwork but even then we give some amount of weight to fate or destiny.
 

There are still people who don’t believe in God on any usual day but if exams are around the corner, a student starts praying fervently in hope to excel or rather just pass also. If a particular number favors us, we try and make sure that number plays a great role in everything we do be it the house number of a brand new flat or the plate number of a recently purchased car or even the number of letters in one’s name.

When “important” people like filmstars or politicians can have so much faith in such things, well then I am no different. I am not that much into beliefs but I still blame my luck for any wrongdoings which befall on my normal routine. And I equally believe in lucky charms too. Though I never thought my lucky charm would turn out to be a breathing soul.

"Felix Felicis or Liquid Luck" (which is better known to all those who are well versed with the magical world of J.K Rowling) is a magical golden potion that makes the drinker of that potion extremely lucky for a particular amount of time.

And that’s what I would call her too.

She came into my life when maybe I needed no luck. I was doing just fine with my life. All was happy-go-lucky; until she arrived. Not that we became pals the moment we met. I didn’t take any liking to her the first time I saw her. For me she was nothing but a replacement for someone else.

But slowly after months of avoiding her, I had to give into her constant bouts of affection. And since then I have been extremely protective of her.

I have never seen someone so mischievous as her. The moment she had entered our house, she had made it hers, exploring every nook and corner and getting familiar with the idea of being with us. She always had a boisterous attitude and a knack for getting both me and my brother into trouble.  

She is the life of our house and the most favoured one too. Sometimes I feel I am the adopted one compared to her but have never been jealous of her and the attention she garners from all in the family as well as friends.

So yes she is a bundle of joy for all but still doesn’t explain why I consider her my lucky charm, does it?

Well if I explained it all in one go, where would be the fun?

She is more than just a happy picture, she is deep down the reason I smile more than earlier.

"The 12"- #10

After months of procrastinating and pretending to have what is termed as "Writer's block", (believe me it is nothing but people being lazy and unfocused :P ) I am back!

And back with hopefully a bang! Because what I am posting is yet another part of "The 12" series. I think this next person is maybe the most random addition to my list of 12 people but the most important.

For those who may know me up close and personal will get it as to why this post is so important.

It is after months of delay that I am writing again so please excuse my grammar all you Nazis :P

And as always Happy reading! :)